THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN

How I think they THOUGHT I would look (only not as skinny as this woman) ;)

I didn't make it....
I didn't make weight.

Last night was our final weigh in for the month and I only lost 3.5 lbs. I needed to lose 4.5 to remain with the group. To understand what I am talking about- look here.

My one leader looked at me - said "you had a good month- sorry" (dead pan expression on her face). I thought "well gee don't get all teary eyed on me". My other leader was more upset and told me should I need anything to not hesitate to contact her... however the words while probably well intended held no weight because never once in the past month that I was on "probation" did she reach out to me.

So- I was kicked out of the group... booted..."the tribe has spoken"  etc...

Was I upset? Ashamed? Dejected?

That would be a NO, Hell NO, & No... 
I felt RELIEVED...I don't have to go and weigh in weekly anymore- which honestly I weigh myself daily so I put way more pressure on myself anyways.

I WILL miss the other group members... I got to know some great people. But in all honesty the group was no longer effective for me.
Losing weight is something that is a personal and very individual journey. 

Ultimately YOU have to WANT to do it for yourself.
NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU!

This past month I learned a lot about myself as I was in many ways "Banished"- (I was on "probation" and was only allowed to weigh in- I was not allowed to go to meetings.)

I have learned that I CAN do it myself. Before I was allowed to join the group I had to lose six lbs. to even qualify...(they based it on a percentage of how heavy you were) so that added to the weight I lost while in the group ... Since January I have lost 42.5 lbs! That is amazing to me!

I went shopping last weekend because I literally had no pants that fit me anymore and belting my size 20's was no longer an option. For the first time in about 20 years shopping was fun...
I had to buy size 14 pants!  I am down 4 pant sizes! After I was done on my way home in the car I  was crying because I was so happy.


My hubby and family have been so supportive during this process- THEY are my support system. But as I said earlier, ultimately I did it, and I will continue...

I am not done. 
Will I lose 30 more pounds? I'm sure as hell gonna try but to me this is a marathon, not a sprint.
I am changing my lifestyle, and I am learning to be patient, and to cut myself some slack if I flounder on this journey.

I am not perfect, but you know what? I'm pretty damn great. :)

me on left with my mom 7/11

 Sorry the picture quality isn't the greatest, but this gives you an idea of the difference.

me & hubby 12/11

8/12

8/12

Floors Done!

The floors are finally finished!!! I forgot to take pics of the carpet in the basement...oh well....
here are the results- the only change we will make is that in the family room we are ordering a new cream colored shag carpet instead of the two rugs in place there now.  I absolutely LOVE our new flooring!!!! It was worth it!!!!

front hall

other view of front hall  into family room

family room

other angle

kitchen

Total upheaval....

So we have decided to replace the flooring on most of the first floor of our house... the only room not being touched is the office where I am composing this post.

The guys are working on the family room today and (hopefully) finishing the hardwood install today- then they will work on the kitchen/hallway/laundry room. We chose duraceramic for those areas because it looks like ceramic tile and is grouted etc... but is probably half the coast of real ceramic tile.

The poor "girls" (our two yellow labs) are penned up on the second floor so the guys can work.

We are also replacing the carpet in our finished basement. The carpet guys came this morning and have started on the basement... they will finish that and then replace the dining room & living room carpet before they leave today.

I am sure it is all going to look beautiful when it is done, but right now I feel like I am going a bit crazy....

I am officially in hell.....

On the bright side with all the upheaval I won't be able to cook for a few days.... DARN!  ;)

prep for family room

beginning front hall

beginning kitchen with duraceramic

getting stuff off of bakers rack so it can be moved

just a mess!

front hall moving into family room

running out of places to put stuff

ugh.....

it's going to look great... my mantra.....

Empty nest

So cheergirlie and QB1 both left last weekend for college... they had to report early- both had preseason camp.

It is really quiet around here.

I cleaned both of their rooms yesterday and changed the sheets etc. Their rooms look strange without a lot of their "stuff"" in it.

In a way it is a good thing that we scheduled to have new flooring installed this week- at least it offers some background noise ;) I will post some pics as soon as I can figure out how to upload from instagram.

Everyone I've talked to has said it is strange at first with the kids gone but then it becomes really nice.

We shall see... 

All I know is that a large part of our identities has been as parents. Even with all of the ups and downs hubby and I have truly enjoyed being parents. Sure the kids drove us crazy at times, and yes we did become frustrated with them- but through it all we really enjoyed our kids.

We have to learn how to "do this" empty nest thing.