anticipation

Tonights the night... I meet & begin with my personal trainer Paul tonight.
I am nervous...actually I am beyond nervous... I am so nervous about this that it has kicked my IBS in gear and I woke up with the runs...

I KNOW that I HAVE to do this...
and I really WANT to do this...
but I am worried that I am going to be really sore...
I'm worried that I will fail...

I'm just worried...
I am such a f*cking wussie...

revelation

Well I've done it...
I made an appointment with a personal trainer for next Monday night.

Two years ago I found out I have type 2 diabetes... and since then have really done very little like nothing about it. Sure I have made some improvements on my diet... but exercise? Uh... that would be a  hell no!

I hate to exercise... loathe it... always have.(even when I was thin) Unfortunately I now have come to the realization/revelation that if I do not do anything about my weight I will really begin to compromise my health. I am 50- not a spring chicken, but also not ready for the grave either and I am finally sick and tired of always feeling sick & tired.

I found someone who comes highly recommended by a fellow teacher who has lost at least 35-40 lbs. since she began working with this guy last summer.She looks FANTASTIC! I spoke with him this morning and set up my first session. He sounded really nice in a kind of I'm going to torture you kind of way. There was also the little fact that he told me that he has trained Navy Seals who can not pass their physicals - with a 100% success rate- this little tidbit  has actually thrown the fear of God into me.

You have no idea how nervous I am right now...My choices of time this guy has available were either 5 AM (are you f*cking kidding me?) or 9:00 PM- (yuck) I chose the 9 PM time because it was the lesser of the two evils *shrug*.
As soon as I hung up the phone the first thought that went through my head was "what the hell did you just do?".
To say I am feeling remorse is an understatement- but I know I HAVE to do this.
Wish me luck!

the powers of medication

This afternoon we have an annual parent conference with the parent from hell...
This particular parent is unlike any other I have ever worked with. I think she must be bipolar. I know at some point she mentioned a head injury in her past- from roller derby... (yeah that inspires a good feeling).

In any case it is the yearly review for her child and I' m not really sure what to expect...
My first experience with this parent occurred three years ago, and it wasn't pretty. Without going into detail, suffice it to say she came out the winner, because she had me ejected from the meeting because I dared to *GASP* tell her the truth and contradict something she *thought* was in her child's IEP. (Individual Educational Plan) She *thought* that every teacher & therapist that her child was working with was *supposed* to email her weekly with an update on how her child was doing. Unfortunately that was NOT the case. Only the student's special ed. teacher was required to do that.

And anyways WTF lady??... it is April and you wait till now to say anything???? I mean if it was my kid and I *thought* teachers were required to email me weekly I would've been on the phone in Sept. and not waited till mid April.

But I digress...
This parent will literally yell and scream in a meeting with 13 professionals if she does not get her way-  this tends to put people on edge-(ya think?) and it causes principals & supervisors with no balls to cow tow give in to every whim this person has. Sad but true...

Since our initial meeting I have learned that this woman runs either hot or cold- either she hates your guts or she loves you. Right now I *think* she loves me...last I heard she had it in for another teacher. (Hey at least I am off her shit list...)

Funniest thing happened at the following years IEP meeting... Mom said she was having a real problem with communication with her child... I asked if it was anything I could help with? Evidently the student(who is a teenager) had an argument with Mom.. and told her to "Fuck off".
As I maintained a straight face (but God was that hard)I said, "Well  you were concerned that *student* was not communicating like a "normal" teenager... not that I condone the language, but the response was a typical teen aged response you might hear during an argument".

This kid is now my personal hero. =)



*UPDATE*
I waited to post this till after the meeting... I am still alive-
*Mom* acted normally for once... no screaming etc. Most of us sat waiting for the other shoe to drop- but that time never came. I looked @ the teacher mid way through the meeting while the parent was talking to another teacher and whispered that things were going way too smoothly. Then later *Mom* made a  comment  about remembering to take her meds today.

*Light bulb*
AHHHHHHH... she must be on some good stuff.

Eva

The world has lost a truly beautiful human being. 

Eva Markvoort finally lost her battle with Cystic Fibrosis and died March 27th. 

I found Eva's blog 65 Red Roses through another blog and read as she described her battle to live. Her day to day struggles were written with honesty and integrity. This young woman left a mark on the world which is a testimony to her life. 

Eva touched my heart as she did thousands of others... my heart and prayers go out to her family & friends during this sad time. 

Field trip

Today I was lucky enough to be able to join our 9th grade Life Skills class on their field trip to Longwood Gardens- it was during their "orchid extravaganza". Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!

The joys of flying... NOT

We flew to Atlanta last weekend to see family. Before we even got on the plane we experienced something like this pic. A family was getting ready to board the plane when all of a sudden a husband and wife and their two little boys moved to get their boarding passes. The younger child (about two) was in some snuggly thing strapped onto his mother and the other one (about 4 years old) was screaming and making his body limp while his dad dragged him towards the gate. As they got closer they  to the gate the 4 y/o began screaming in gusto and trying to hit his dad. Needless to say the people waiting (mainly business people) all looked at each other with fear that they would be sitting near this happy little family.

Now I understand that all kids at one time or another behave like this, however by the time we were all trapped in the plane- both kids decided to scream and try and climb over the seats and bother everyone around them for the ENTIRE flight. We were 3 rows behind them so we had a birds eye view of what was going on. My problem with this whole scenario is that the parents did NOTHING to reprimand or even try to control their kids. During the flight they were observed to be passed back and forth between parents. The kids tried to climb over the tops of the seats in front of them to see what the passengers were doing. Then the 4 y/o kept trying to push the air/light buttons as well as grab the book the woman behind him was trying to read. ::This is Parental FAILURE::

WHAT was wrong with these idiots parents? I just do not understand...

At one point the stewardess (upon the request of another passenger) went and asked the parents to buckle the boys in (for safety reasons)- this lasted all of about 5 minutes. I can only imagine what these kids are going to be like 10 yrs. from now.

Unfortunately it made for a miserable hour and a half for everyone on the plane. So I propose that the airlines adopt the following... if a child simply cannot behave themselves during the flight they should be placed in an alternative area for the duration of the flight:

Works for me ;)

My Bucket List

I was over on Vodka Logic, and I read where a friend of hers has posted a completed bucket list on her blog. Her friend invited her to play along and I am inviting you to play along as well. Just place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not..easy. Feel free to add on to the list...I did.

(x) Shot a gun. does a bb gun count?
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school do classes in college count?
(x) Watched someone die 
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a cruise ship
( ) Served on a jury 
(x) Been lost
(x) Asked for directions
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( )Been to NYC
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Played cowboys/girls and Indians
(x) Seen puppies or kittens born
( ) Recently colored with crayons 
( ) Sang Karaoke with friends
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Remember when McDonald's was 15 cents?
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
( ) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until you cried or peed in your pants.
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
( ) Gone snow skiing
(x) Camped out under the stars
(x) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away
(x) Are or have been married
(x) Have Child(ren)
(x) Have a pet/ had a pet
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Been fishing
(x) Been boating
(x) Been water skiing/tubing
(x) Been hiking
( ) Been camping in a trailer/RV
( ) Flown in a small 4 seat airplane
( )Flown in a glider
( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon
( ) Been bungee-jumping or sky-diving -are you out of your mind???
(x) Gone cliff diving/jumping
(x) Gone to a drive-in movie
(x) Done a split
( ) Done something that should have killed you -
(x) Done something that you WILL regret for the rest of your life
(x) See a meteor shower
(x) Flown in a pontoon airplane

I would like to do some of the following:
Take a: cooking class, pottery class, jewelry making class
Visit  Australia, New Zealand, Alaska, Hawaii
See the Grand Canyon
Live overlooking the ocean (I can dream...)
Ride a horse through the surf of the ocean
Be thin (again... I can dream)
See my children grow up, find their true love and be around for the birth of my grandchildren
Help build a house for Habitat for Humanity