x-mas va kay

Christmas was very nice this year- everyone seemed to get everything they wanted- *for once*.... The piles weren't as big as previous years but then the price tags were bigger per item- hence the lack of quantity. But nevertheless.. all three kiddos seemed pretty pleased with their loot.

My husbands 2nd oldest sister and her hubby came for Christmas and stayed till Sun. they have just moved back to PA from Detroit. It was so nice having them for more than 24 hrs. we don't get to see them as often as we'd like. Now tomorrow his youngest sister and her hubby are flying in tomorrow for New Years- they are both a lot of fun as well so I am very happy they are coming. Then his oldest sister will drive in on Thurs.

I am hoping that we can get out to the movies to see Meryl Streeps new movie with Alec Baldwin & Steve Martin- It's Complicated it looks really cute.

I guess the best part about Christmas/New Years this year is simply having my hubby & kids all home. My house is not as clean as usual with the added people, but for me it is way better with them all home. The added bonus of having off til the 4th is very nice as well...

We aren't going out for New Year's- we haven't gone out on New Year's eve for the past 20+ years... it seems like it is amateur night... people who do not usually drink go out, drink too much then try & drive home...so what we do every year is get frozen shrimp and steam them and I'll have several a few drinks while hubby has a coke (he doesn't drink)... this year with added guests we'll make more food and maybe rent a movie or something... I am sure all three kids will be going out to celebrate with friends. Not quite sure what the weather will bring- they are hinting @ a storm coming through here Thurs/Fri/Sat. but I have been to the grocery store & BJ's and have plenty of food!

What is everyone having for New Year's day? We are making a PA Dutch tradition- roast pork, sauerkraut & mashed potatoes. You have that and supposedly have good luck in the upcoming year. Through the years it has been what we ALWAYS have and the kids have to taste all of it whether they like the sauerkraut or not- so they have good luck...

So what are you having? :)

Christmas blues

Yesterday we went to a funeral. My brother in law David's mom passed away, she was 88.

Now I did not really know her, I think I met her two or three times, but we went for David- to support him. As we sat there during the service it brought back memories of my mother in laws funeral two years ago. That was tough...Jeff's mom stayed with us the last 2 mos. of her life as she went to Fox Chase Cancer Center for treatments every day. She beat the cancer, but her resistance was so compromised that she contracted an infection while in the hospital and her system turned septic.

As I sat there I began to think about my own mortality...and for the first time I felt old older...I know I am 50 but mentally I don't FEEL like I'm 50. For the first time I faced the fact that most likely my life is more than half over. Time seems to go by so quickly, it seems like just yesterday that it was my birthday in July.

I look at my children and they aren't really children anymore...they're all young adults now. I love this stage of their lives, but at the same time it makes me sad. I miss little voices, holding hands, believing in Santa, snuggling and their belief that Mommy & Daddy knew "everything".

This week I find myself tearing up for no real reason.. Unfortunately I battle depression (and have my whole adult life)and it seems to be trying to take hold of me again. So I think I need to REALLY take a look around and count my blessings and try and live each day like it could be my last. I need to shake myself out of this blue funk and reflect upon why we celebrate Christmas. I need to find the joy of the holiday season and focus on that. I need to stop obsessing about the things I simply cannot change. I need to take a second look at my list of things I am thankful for (from Thanksgiving).

I am very thankful that:

I have everyone home this Christmas.

God - listens to me whine & bitch on a regular basis- thanks God!

I am married to a wonderful man, he is my rock, my partner, my everything. I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

I have three great kids- Jenny, Stefanie & J.J. bring me such joy even while they sometimes drive me crazy.

My family is all in relatively good health We all take our health for granted because there are many people who are living with debilitating diseases for whom seeing another Christmas is truly a miracle.

For my home, because there are many who do not have homes or who are losing their homes due to the economy.

To have a job- not that I love my job, but I am happy I have a paycheck coming in...

For my two dogs Buffy & Cali.

That our family is economically "ok" we're not rich, but we have enough.

**I am also thankful that I have off until Jan. 4 after today :)**

May all of you have a wonderful Christmas... and remember to keep Christ in Christmas- because isn't that really what it's all about?

What you do on a snowy Sunday afternoon if you are bored...

Back to reality...

We're home... back from Jamaica.
I can say in all honesty it was BETTER than I had even hoped- an absolutely perfect vacation.
The pictures tell the story...it's better in Jamaica!

the swim up bar... yummy strawberry daquiries & rum punch

Jeff giving the vacation a thumbs up

me relaxing by the pool

Jeff's foot & the hotel

kissing my sweetie poolside

5 Star hotel...$$$$
Rum you bring home ... $22.00
Tips ... $20
Vacations alone with your sweetie.... PRICELESS!

leaving on a jet plane

Tomorrow hubby and I leave for Jamaica for 5 days/4 nights. I am beyond excited...

It's been about a year and a half since the last time we had any *real* time alone. We went to a very nice bed & breakfast in Hershey,PA, stayed 2 nights and went to see Billy Joel in concert *awesome concert by the way*

So this time we decided to go longer *sans kids* and somewhere warm & "all inclusive".  Now for me it's great because I can drink as much & whatever I want and not have to worry about the tab, Jeff how ever will not really take advantage of it because he doesn't drink. If they have coke then he's "good".

We went to Jamaica about four years ago and really enjoyed it- I think the fact that everyone spoke English factored into our enjoyment of our trip but I know high on Jeff's lists of favorite things was the high tea every afternoon around 3:30-4:00 PM. No matter what we were doing we had to drop everything and go to tea. They served these little fruit tarts and pastries that he simply went nuts over. I can only hope that this hotel we are going to does the same or else I am in *deep* doo doo...

The first 15 years we were married we never went anywhere alone like this- our kids were young and we lived about 5-6 hrs. away from the closest family. We took the kids on a couple of trips to the Dominican Republic but this year we decided we wanted/needed alone time. Plus we both turned 50 this year and celebrated our 25th anniversary.

Twenty five years... wow... when you add on the number of years we dated then it is 33... that's a lifetime...unfortunately I don't look the same as I did all those years ago, but I like to think that Jeff loves me more than for just my bod...

So ta ta for now...see ya next week... I'll think of you... ok no I won't- I'll be soaking up sunshine with a drink in hand....

yeah mon.. no problem ;)

baby boy

Today my "baby" (all 6'1 of him) turns 16... a momentus age- a learners permit is in his near future...
I looked at the clock a few minutes ago and saw that exactly 16 yrs ago I was in the hospital -sedated due to my c-section and very happy that he had finally arrived.

JJ was by far, my easiest pregnancy- I was sicker than a dog the first 3-4 months with my girls and I looked like shit most of the time... but with JJ I felt great- wasn't sick, my skin, hair & nails looked awesome and I glowed... Another factor that made him easier.. with the girls I put on 36 & 35 lbs respectively.. with JJ only 12.5 lbs. From the back you couldn't tell I was pregnant- it looked like I had a basketball under my shirt I was all rounded belly.

I had gestational diabetes with all three of my kids and my doctors scared the shit out of me told me that unless I wanted to have to do injections every day that I had to follow a very strict food plan to control my glycemic index... I guess by baby #3 they must've really layed it on thick because I did not deviate from my ok'd foods... it was to the point that raisin bran tasted sweet to me by 9 months...

I remember being about 8 mos. pregnant and having to take the girls in for a check up and my pediatrian (who was origionally from Romania and had an accent that sounded like a nazi) asked me how much weight I had gained... I thought she was going to have a coronary when I told her at that point about 9 lbs.... she started getting really agitated and the more agitated she got the heavier her accent got to the point where I have to say she got down right scarey.... she kept saying how I was starving the baby and she liked fat babies etc..... Finally I was like Dr. C- I am taking in 2000-2500 calories a day... just not "bad" foods...

She still was not happy about it, but I guess I redeemed myself when he came out all 9 lbs. 5 oz. of chubby baby...

JJ learned to adapt to a household that up until that point had been dominated by females.. 2 sisters, a mom, and both a female cat & dog. Jeff was so happy to be able to buy something other than barbies or something a shade of  pepto bismal pink. I think the fact that he did grow up surrounded by women is one of the reasons why JJ gets along with girls so well... that and the fact that he is a cutie!

                                                                     with his big sis Stefanie

J was a good baby, easy actually, but that also could've been due to the fact that I had already done this twice and did not worry every time something happened...he was my buddy when the girls went off to school and we would bake cookies, go to the park and watch movies (I think we both knew the entire dialog of Jurassic Park). It just about broke my heart when he finally began 1st grade- I remember driving him to school and him *trying to not cry* say "but Mommy, who will make cookies with you?"

with his sister Stefanie

Jeff & I have watched our son grow up to be a handsome, intelligent, caring young man. He has a strong faith,  excels at academics/athletics and is an awesome football player. And while I get frustrated that he doesn't share as much with me as the girls did, I can only hope that he understands that I nag him out of love.
So Happy 16th Birthday my baby boy... Mommy loves you XOXO

             

*thank God for good Samaritans!*

Yesterday I stopped @ our local A.C. Moore to pick up something to make a Christmas gift. (can't say what 'cuz I have family who read my blog) So I am getting a kind of warm fuzzy feeling inside thinking about how much this gift is going to be appreciated as I headed out to my car *in the rain I might add* The skies were gray, but I was feeling kinda sunshine & roses :)
That is until I got into my car.... and it wouldn't start....

Now I generally LOVE my car, it's a Jeep Laredo and it has NEVER given me a moment of trouble. That is until yesterday.

Now I looked @ the time and it was 3:30- I knew my daughter had to be @ work by 4:00 so I called her quick... and asked her to come help me jump start the car. She was like "but I have to be @ work in a half hour" to which I said... call work & tell them I am sitting in this parking lot with a dead car- I guarantee you they will not get mad....*which they weren't* So there we were... me & Jenny (who is 21) in the rain... trying to jump start my car.... which I have only ever done alone once before my whole life...

I guess I should paint the scene for you... a steady drizzle... the hood of my car would NOT stay up- it does not have one of those bar things it just stays up on it's own, but since I was on a slight grade it kept dropping shut... so I am standing there trying to hold up the hood while at the same time hold the live ends of the jumper cables apart...meanwhile Jenny is standing there watching...*looking cute but just watching*
Did I mention that I accidentally let the black and red touch for a millisecond before dropping them to the ground? They aren't kidding... DO NOT let them touch.....sparks & everything...

Jen: *after seeing the sparks and watching me drop the cables* "Mom be careful"
Me: "Will you just hold up the damned hood for me before I kill myself"?
Jen: "But I thought you wanted me to open up my hood?"
Me: "oh yeah.. do that"
So she tries... & she can't get her hood up... *are ya kidding me?.. God must have a wicked sense of humor*
It was at this point that an older gentleman and his wife stopped and asked if we needed help- I told them I didn't know yet... with that his wife nudged him and he got out of the car and kind of took over... *thank God for good Samaritans!*
Well he couldn't get Jenny's hood up either... so he had Jenny move her car and he pulled his in to try and jump it.
Good Samaritan: "are you sure it's the battery?"
Me: "uh no...I have no idea what's wrong with it"
Good Samaritan: *to Jenny* "you might want to move back"
Jenny- eyes HUGE now...moving away...
Good Samaritan:"Just try it again before I try to jump it."
Me- " ok"... *nothing happens*
Good Samaritan: "it must be your starter"

So with that I thanked  them and they left... Jenny drove me home and I had to call for a tow.
Now I haven't had to have a car towed in over 20 years, holy shit... $65 just to show up and then a dollar a mile after that. I had them tow it to the car place across the street, *too badd I didn't have JJ with me- we could've pushed it and saved the $68*
So I get hold of the towing company and they tell me they can be there in a half hour. So I have to drive back there to give them keys... I had to do something that I am sure drove my hubby crazy. I had to drive his porsche back to the scene of the crime parking lot. So I call hubby...
Me:" Uh hon, I have to drive the porsche over to the Giant because my car is dead."
Him: *silence*     "why can't Jenny drive you?"
Me:" because she had to go to work"
Him: *sigh* "well ok -but BE CAREFUL" *side note, this car is kept in the garage, covered and used only on *nice* days*
So with that I go out to the garage take off the cover etc from the car and try to start *Roxy* (his name for the car)...
It won't start....
are you f*cking kidding me?
I look up and say "is this some kind of test?"
Then try again and Roxy starts *Thanks God*
So I get to the parking lot and the tow guy starts trying to get my car out of the parking space...I was standing there watching & asking do you need help? And with that out of no where two gentlemen come over to help.
They were very nice and really were a help. So the one man says "I guess you get to ride in this fancy tow truck", to which I explain about having to drive Roxy and how she's kept under a cover etc. and since it was an emergency I was allowed to drive it.
Both men look at each other and say "does your husband know it's raining?"

*Pause* Is this a guy thing? I mean... who the hell cares if it was raining? My damned car was dead.
So end result- it WAS my battery and it is being fixed today and should be ready by the time I am done with work.
By the time I got home I was beat...so I made a drink.. took a hot tub and vegged out in front of the t.v. till I fell asleep.

So when it's all said and done I will probably be about $200 poorer but I guess the real reason I began this blog is that the thing that stuck with me and that even now puts a smile on my face is this...

Now a days in our society people are so busy, and it often seems like it is every man for themselves- ... I had 3 people stop and ask me if I needed help... not just one.. but 3... kinda restores your faith  that people are inherently nice. :)

Hey... I'm getting that sunshine & roses fuzzy feeling again... *smile*