Thursday, February 21, 2013

#21 Last train

Yesterday's weather prompted the change in scenery. Follow the tracks to meet all of the talented writers participating in  30 days minus 2 over at www.weworkforcheese.com


As she sat in the coffee shop she kept surreptitiously looking at her watch.

He was late.

As the waitress came by to refill her cup she nodded her head slightly, smiled and covered her cup; if she drank another cup she'd be floating. As it was the caffeine had her tensed up so much she felt like she could take flight.

She glanced around the coffee shop and noted the customers there. It was late, way past the dinner rush, closer to midnight actually.

Where was he?

She glanced at her watch again. She didn't have much longer, and she simply couldn't wait.

She gathered up her purse and her bags, left a tip for the waitress and headed out the door, the bells jingling as the door swished opened then shut after her. A fine mist fell over her, the weather was taking a turn for the worse.

She'd need to hurry if she was going to make the last train. Her heels clicked in a rhythmic code as she hurried down the platform. She stopped at the ticket office, secured her ticket and found a bench to wait.

It was finally time to board. She took one last long look around the train station her eyes searching, not seeing him. Resolutely she sighed, got up and boarded the train. A soft rain began and drenched the windows mirroring how she felt inside. She sat, desolate, staring out the rain spattered window, not really seeing.

How could I have been so wrong about him?

As the train slowly began to pull out of the station she leaned her head back, sighed and closed her eyes, a single tear streaking down her cheek; the only outward sign  that something was wrong. She wiped the tear away with the back of her hand.

If he couldn't even show up he wasn't worth her tears.

Once again she was reminded that she could not be weak and needed to only count on herself, leaning on him for strength had been a mistake, and she would do this alone. She could do this. She had to do this.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the train pulled farther away from the station it’s lights becoming smaller and smaller a distraught young man ran out onto the platform, chest heaving as if he had just finished a marathon. He  stood in the now steady rain, soaked to the skin, watching the taillights of the train disappearing in the worsening storm.

He had missed the train and she was gone. 

There was no way to catch it, and he had no way to reach her.  He ran to the ticket office ready to pay whatever price a ticket on the next train would cost, only to find it closed.

The last train had left and with it the love of his life, but she would never know.

He went back into the station and sat down on one of the benches. He racked his brain trying to figure out what to do next. After a few moments he got up and headed out to his car, he couldn't find a parking spot earlier and he'd had to park blocks away. As he walked  he formed a plan. He would pack a bag and drive there, he had no other choice.

Somehow he was going to find her.  


 

 

22 comments:

  1. That first part was a story in itself. But the second part was the cherry on the Sunday. A great tale. I hope there's a happy ending.

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  2. Thanks dufus! Not quite sure how it would end actually :)

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  3. Wait? Am I on the wrong blog? ::tapping the monitor:: Duke Mom? Is that you? What the heck, Miss Bronte. This is awesome! NO other word, but AWESOME. Wow.

    The book, write it. Then sell it to me. Your writing is captivating, really!

    May I have some more, please? Nicely done.

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  4. "Not quite sure how it would end actually" I understand that completely. We have wait and let the characters decide that. After all, its their story. ;)

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  5. yes- I've never tried my hand at writing like this so I am unfamiliar with the process... feels kind of weird, but at the same time- I like it. :)

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  6. This was a really lovely piece of fiction!

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  7. Oh Barb, this was such a great piece! The sorrow and heartache of the first part, and the heartbreakingly bad timing of the second part all made better by his resolve to find her, no matter what. Great job!

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  8. Oh wow... thanks Ziva I feel like I might want to explore these two and see why this happened- I actually have no idea where it will go...

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    1. You should definitely explore the story more! I'd love to see where your subconscious would take it. :)

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  9. OOH.... a little romantic intrigue. I like it!

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  10. Barb, I really love these fictional stories from you! This is a great piece!

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    1. thanks nicky- I've NEVER tried to write... it is something I have thought about, but never actually tried it- I guess I was afraid it wouldn't be any good...

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  11. Nice! What a great surprise to come and read something so lovely.

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  12. What? No killing??? It's a train! Just kidding. I liked it. :)

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  13. Very nice piece and an ending not usually seen. You should continue it. :)

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  14. I'm loving this story line! You totally hooked me. I'm hoping this story continues and continues and continues...

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  15. I like the scope of this story. It really feels like you're leading us somewhere. I'm looking forward to future installments. :)

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