Tuesday, April 7, 2009

and so it begins.....

I'm not quite sure why I decided to begin a blog... but maybe this will be a way for me to voice my thoughts and make sense of things.

I am a mom...and a wife... Not the greatest of either but I do the best I can.

I have been married to my husband for almost 25 years-

God that seems like a REALLY long time... and that means I am getting *dare I say it?* ...OLD... holy shit!

You know the funny thing about getting older is that while you know in your head how old you really are, you don't necessarily FEEL that old in your mind, I mean physically yes I am beginning to find some things I used to do without thinking more difficult- and it pisses me off, but it is what it is...I mean I am going to be 50 this summer-

There I said it- 50- HOLY SHIT! But back to what I was saying... the funny thing about getting older is that while you are looking & feeling older... in your mind you are the same ...

I'd like to think at least that I am smarter than I was when I was in my 20's but I attribute that mainly to life experience. Whoever said life is wasted on the young was right. The older I get the more true that becomes.

I have three kids two girls & a boy. My oldest is turning 21 in 2 weeks- God I remember 21... I was thin, no wrinkles and did not really have any stress in my life. I could wear a bikini & looked damn good in it! I wish I knew then what I know now- I would've done a few things differently- like for instance ... exercised more, gotten my Masters degree, saved more money. I know my kids think I don't have a clue, but they are so wrong...God was I as naive as they are? They have no idea...

Our oldest went off to college and decided after a year and a half it wasn't for her. So she moved back home, went to beauty school, graduated and got her license. I am so proud of her for following her heart. She's worked hard and is paying her dues at the hair salon she works at. They won't put her on a chair yet and have her working as an assistant- enough - let her do hair already!

My younger daughter is a senior in high school and soon graduates. She goes off to college in August and I am going to miss her terribly... I have to be like Scarlett O Hara and just not think about it, be in denial... otherwise I'll start crying...

Our youngest is 15, and he just switched from public school to a private all boys catholic school. The transition has been hard for him- he misses public school & how easy it was...academically. He misses girls... he misses wearing sweats /jeans everyday. I have to keep telling myself that he will get through this... it is an excellent school and in the long term is the BEST choice for him.

All I know is that I remember when the kids were little and all I wanted was some time to myself... well time to myself I now have... and while it can be nice... I find myself missing those days filled with dirty hands, boo boo knees, dress up & kisses & hugs... where did the time go?

Be careful for what you wish for...
you just might get it!

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