Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Happy Birthday Jenny

I received the following email from my daughter Jenny who is turning 22 tomorrow:
(BTW I think I was 12 when I had her) *cough* *wink*

*note no salutation*

1. you need to write on your blog like daily- when I get bored during the day I go on there to read stuff and there is nothing new. get with it! oh.... you can write something about me since it's my birthday soon....:]you know how i am your favorite child, how pretty I am etc. etc. etc. etc. :]
2. when are we going to GA I need dates ASAP so I can def get the days off.
3. Can you please transfer $300 to dad and label it half of taxes
4. Can you pay my insurance please
**but can you transfer the money after 9:15 AM I am depositing money after personal training**
thank youuu!
Your Favorite child.

Jenny was born 22 years ago on April 28th- this time 22 years ago I was in the hospital and they had me on a pitocin drip. They had decided to induce because my blood pressure kept getting higher and higher- I had preeclampsia and was very swollen- pretty miserable by the 38th week. I also had gestational diabetes which did not help. So began my 19 hr. labor. At the end I pushed for 3 hrs. but just couldn't get her out and they opted for an emergency C section. Out popped an 8lb. redhead :)  I remember after she was born and I had been given pain meds my husband (looking pretty worn out) looking at me and saying "that's it, we are never having any more kids. I cannot watch you go through that kind of pain ever again". I remember laughing at him through my drug induced haze. :)

Recovery was difficult, I developed an infection in my incision site and it was weeks before I felt better- added to that, Jenny had colic... I tried breastfeeding her, but after 8 weeks (of hell) my doctor told me to supplement, once she had the bottle she didn't want me anymore.

Jenny has always been referred to as my mini me, we look a lot alike and our temperaments are fairly close as well- watch out for that red headed temper! She was a good girl, became a good big sister (after asking if we could take her sister back after she was born)  and has been a pleasure most of the time -sometimes we butted heads...but we always worked those bumps in the road out.

Jenny grew up, was a cheerleader in high school - then went off to college and cheered there as well, but mid way through her sophomore year she came home upset. She just didn't like college. She loved the social aspect, but hated going to class. So she made the very mature decision to drop out after finishing out the semester and started beauty school that Jan. She said she didn't feel it was right to waste our money if her heart wasn't in it. Pretty mature for a 19 year old. :) She went through beauty school and finished with honors. She got her license Dec. a year ago and is now happily working at a local upscale salon. And you know what? She loves what she is doing & is an awesome hair stylist! She excels in hair coloring and has really found her niche!
Through the years we have watched Jenny grow up and mature into the beautiful young woman that she is today. She and I are very close- we are roomies while her sister is away @ college and her brother & father are living apart from us. We work well together @ home and take turns taking care of "the girls" (our 2 yellow labs) and she will often do thoughtful things like yesterday when she did all of the wash. :)

We enjoy Margarita Wednesdays(unfortunately curtailed due to our diets) and are able to go out to dinner together usually once a week. I honestly don't know what I would do without her during this "alternate" living arrangement we are living with.

So Jenny, here is your Happy Birthday post...I promise I will try to be more on top of the blog- I've kind of been busy with work... but I will strive to do better to help when you are "bored" ;)

You paved the way for your brother and sister and have brought such joy to our lives...Daddy and I are very proud of you!

I love you Jenny <3


Friday, April 16, 2010

I'd like to thank the little people who made this possible...

Drumroll please......
I have recently been awarded my first Blog award (how cool is that?) from Diane over at Just Humor Me.
According to the rules of the award, if you receive the award you have the choice of doing one of the following:

(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, stream-of-consciousness style.

b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.

(c) Make your next post a "vlog", or video blog
Then when you are done you are supposed to pass the award on to at least three amazing bloggers, like yourself.

So I have been trying to decide which I would do...(decisions, decisions
This was hard because first of all I have no idea how to do a vlog. So that left either blog while drunk or share my most embarrassing moment...which is hard to choose because I have had MANY embarrassing moments in my lifetime. One of which was when I began taking yoga classes 3 years ago at an awesome (and unfortunately now defunct) yoga studio. The first month they were slow getting people to take classes but for me it was really great because the owner/instructor Jason would do class and it would be just me. Since I had never done yoga before  it was like have my own personal yoga instructor. 

So one day about a month into classes we are having class (just me & him) and we are doing this position called happy baby. Now when you are in this position you are lying on your back with the soles of your feet facing the ceiling and your knees bent kinda like a frog... you can hold your ankles and you are trying to "open" up your hips. So anyways.. we are almost through with class and are doing happy baby and Jason notices my form is off and comes over to adjust how I am holding the position. In doing so something within me relaxed and as he turned around to go back to his mat I let loose with a really loud fart... you know one of those ones that creeps up on you and  you simply cannot hold back that sounds like a motorcycle discharging? 

Considering the fact that it was just me & him in the room there was no way to pass it off on someone else...(not that I would EVER do that *cough cough*- I have 2 dogs for a reason!)

So the fart is "hanging there" so to speak (both literally & figuratively) and I am thinking OMFG!!!! and I freeze (I don't know, in hopes that my sphincter muscles would somehow atrophy?) but in doing so somehow I inadvertently triggered something and I then felt the pressure of another building. (I couldn't make this shit up if I tried) So I am lying there legs up in the air, trying to hold the next one in and Jason being the gentleman he was, just continues on with class like nothing ever happened. The pressure of trying to keep myself "composed" begins to wear and I feel like I am beginning to sweat a bit... luckily it was the end of class and Jason put some music on during our final meditation time... he is telling me to try and find my focus, and control my breathing... meanwhile the mantra I am saying in my head is  "you will not fart again, you will not fart again..."

So we are in  the ultimate relaxation pose-dead mans pose- and I am trying to relax, but am afraid to REALLY relax for fear that I will let loose with another fart. The music is now fading... and we are to the part at the end where all we are doing is deep breathing... the room is silent.



fart #2 (shoot me now)

I of course was mortified... and I think I said something like "you have got to be kidding me- I'm sorry". Jason, being the cool dude he was told me it was perfectly fine, that it was a natural occurrence during yoga. I think he was just being nice...

That was just one of my most embarrassing moments...

SO.. I hereby bequeath the incredibly prestigious OH MY BLOG award to:
Nicolasa over at Keepin' it in Perspective , Midlife Mama at  Midlife Musings , and Michaela over @ Gimme that tea towel I'll dry

Skippy over at I Make Soap- I know you have not been feeling well, but when you are up to it I nominate you as well! :)

What'll it be ladies??? :)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

rockin the workout

So last night was my first "real" workout with Paul...

HOLY SHIT...(most intense workout I've ever had)

Paul explained how our workouts would go.. he has me do exercises in pairs back to back with no time in between... and I do 3 sets of the exercises with no down time between them. Instead of doing a set number or reps I do each exercise to exhaustion ( yes I said exhaustion). He stressed that form was more important than anything else... if I can not do the exercise fully- do it as much as I can...

Example...We began with squats/10 jumping jacks...So I do these squats (always a favorite-NOT)... until my legs are burning... then immediately do 10 jumping jacks... then right back to squats... then jumping jacks... you get the idea (3 sets of this).... then I get a break--- get a drink (hydrate hydrate hydrate!)

Last night much of the work out was geared to my upper body/arms, but he would incorporate squats with some of them to get my lower body involved.

I did all kinds of bicep/triceps exercises... with one really awesome (that was sarcasm) exercise called a "dip"... for the dip you sit on a chair and then support your weight on the chair as you lift your body and dip in front of the chair. Like this...
(these are f*cking hard)
 For my last dip my arms were so wasted that I could not lift my butt back up onto the chair. (literally)  So I just sat on the floor- loser!

We ended up my workout with push ups/planks.

This is a plank...
By my last set I thought I was going to throw up... for real... 
I have NEVER worked so hard that I wanted to throw up. When he told me to stop I collapsed to the ground (I am so sure I looked pathetic) He was very complimentary telling me what an awesome job etc I did and I looked up @ him and told him" I think I am gonna throw up... do you have a trash can"?
I was mortified... luckily I didn't actually throw up but was REALLY nauseous. He told me not to feel embarrassed... that in his experience, when people begin back to working out, if they have an intense workout it is the body's way to say "hey knock this shit off". He told me that when your body can not take any more it's self defense is to make you feel nauseous so you HAVE to stop whatever you're doing.

So all things considered - I ROCKED MY WORKOUT!!!! I  gave 100% and was oh so proud of myself!
When I got home, I took ibuprofen, iced my arms, showered and went to bed...

Today I am sore, & I know that tomorrow will most likely be worse... 
My "homework" this week is to walk at least 4x/wk for 30 min. and to run through some of the exercises we did -maybe one set each... which I will do... I know this first month will probably be hell... but I can do it...

How awesome would it be to look like this @ 50??

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


So I went and met my new trainer last night. What we did was talk about my current health, my goals, he took my measurements, weight etc. and ran me through a series of exercises to see my current level of fitness as well as my range of motion etc.

Paul is VERY knowledgeable, and while he is probably only like 5'8 or so... he is BIG as in like a marine or body builder. He is basically a walking advertisement...He told me last night was basically a get to know you session so he could see where I am at and that Wed. night we will really begin. It was embarrassing how out of shape I am but he was very encouraging. He told me in no uncertain terms that if I want this... he can help me make it happen. And you know what... I believe him.

If you've ever had a significant amount of weight to lose (like anything over 30 lbs.) you usually begin with an open mind, but deep down I think you think-  I hope I can do it, but you aren't 100% sure that you can. There is always a part of you which thinks.."yeah I can't really do this". 
After an hour with Paul, that uncertainty is gone- I know that if I do what he says... I CAN DO THIS!
Am I going to enjoy every minute?- hell no- I am probably going to be sore, and bitch & whine that I want to still eat things I shouldn't, but I am going to try...

I'll keep you posted on my journey :)

Monday, April 12, 2010


Tonights the night... I meet & begin with my personal trainer Paul tonight.
I am nervous...actually I am beyond nervous... I am so nervous about this that it has kicked my IBS in gear and I woke up with the runs...

I KNOW that I HAVE to do this...
and I really WANT to do this...
but I am worried that I am going to be really sore...
I'm worried that I will fail...

I'm just worried...
I am such a f*cking wussie...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Well I've done it...
I made an appointment with a personal trainer for next Monday night.

Two years ago I found out I have type 2 diabetes... and since then have really done very little like nothing about it. Sure I have made some improvements on my diet... but exercise? Uh... that would be a  hell no!

I hate to exercise... loathe it... always have.(even when I was thin) Unfortunately I now have come to the realization/revelation that if I do not do anything about my weight I will really begin to compromise my health. I am 50- not a spring chicken, but also not ready for the grave either and I am finally sick and tired of always feeling sick & tired.

I found someone who comes highly recommended by a fellow teacher who has lost at least 35-40 lbs. since she began working with this guy last summer.She looks FANTASTIC! I spoke with him this morning and set up my first session. He sounded really nice in a kind of I'm going to torture you kind of way. There was also the little fact that he told me that he has trained Navy Seals who can not pass their physicals - with a 100% success rate- this little tidbit  has actually thrown the fear of God into me.

You have no idea how nervous I am right now...My choices of time this guy has available were either 5 AM (are you f*cking kidding me?) or 9:00 PM- (yuck) I chose the 9 PM time because it was the lesser of the two evils *shrug*.
As soon as I hung up the phone the first thought that went through my head was "what the hell did you just do?".
To say I am feeling remorse is an understatement- but I know I HAVE to do this.
Wish me luck!